Wednesday, November 26, 2014

B Love: Forgiveness... What You Need To Know About It


FORGIVENESS

I had recently read an article on Forgiveness, I came away from it being none the wiser, a little disturbed about a topic that is very inflammatory.


"The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest...and the first to forget is the happiest." ~unknown

At some point in life, we're going to make a mistake, we're going to hurt someone and/or do something that is wrong on every level. At some point in life you will be in a situation where you will be the victim of something, whether intentional or not, nobody is exempt. Life is never about the mistake, it's about the recovery. Period!



If It's Your Mistake

Apologize. Do everything in your power to make the mistake better, or at the very least liveable, acknowledge your part, acknowledge the mistake. Not because someone tells you to, because YOU KNOW it's a mistake. If someone else has to point out your mistake, an apology isn't acceptable until you own it, until you understand the hurt, the destruction, the error of your ways, and how that its affected another.

We're simply human, we all will make mistakes from time to time, some are simple mistakes, others can be devastating, they can change the life of another human being.

We tend to be the hardest on our own selves when it comes to making mistakes, the verbal abuse that we can dish out on a daily basis is more vile than we would ever say to another human being in our shoes. We have to be able to forgive ourselves or we to stay stuck in the mire. Forgiving yourself isn't about you being let off of any hook of culpability, acknowledging your mistake, learning from it as never to make the same mistake again.




When You're The Victim


We will all fall victim to something, at some time in our lives. Healing is a process that everyone does on their own accord, it's not something that we can put a time stamp on and we shouldn't. We do have to heal from the hurt to be able to move on to a happy healthy normal life again. Even if the landscape has changed because of an event, even if our new normal isn't the same as it was pre-dating the event. Staying stuck in the victimization of any situation isn't a healthy way to live your life, it is a way of being eternally stuck.



Forgiveness


Forgiveness isn't about acceptance that whatever was done to you was right in any way, shape or form, it isn't about justifying what happened. You don't have to utter any words to the person or persons responsible.  You do HAVE to do IT for you though! Forgiving what happened to you no matter how heinous, does mean that you won't let it control your life anymore. You won't allow it to steal your happiness, to cloud your mind with the hurt and the anger anymore. Forgiveness is meant to free you, to bring you peace to a situation, living with the hurt and the anger is an evil elixir  that you drink, hoping that it will kill the other person, when in the end you only end up harming yourself. Being angry and resentful, will only serve to ruin the rest of your life, leaving you stuck, bitter and feeling utterly powerless.  Life is short, way too short to spend angry, as long as you choose to be angry, you can never truly claim back your power over the situation or move on from it.


"Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you're the one that gets burned" ~Buddha        


Don't allow someone else's feelings on the subject....to taint or change yours. You can't help if your feelings make another person uncomfortable, that's on them not on you. You are allowed to have your own feelings on any given topic or situation.


You cannot change the past, no amount of wishing or what if'ing will ever change it, you can however choose how you carry on in the future, what you choose to do moving forward, how you feel about any given situation. Does forgiving mean that you forget? No, not at all. It does however give you the options to gain your power back over any situation, making you able to live a life free of resentment. A life of peace, don't allow people or situations to live rent free, clogging up your future to a path of happiness and most importantly PEACE.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

B Fit: Guide To Loving Yourself



Loving yourself completely is part of being a happy, healthy YOU. Loving yourself is what our entire brand was founded on, it's vital in your life. I'm sure you've heard "before you love another person, you must love yourself",  this is true. Not only does loving another in a healthy manner require loving yourself first, but the love you have for yourself also sets the standard for the people that make an appearance in your life. Part of loving yourself is putting your needs, wants and everything in between high on your priority list. That means that you choose YOU!


Ask yourself...

What makes you happy?  

What do you want?

What do you need to be content?


Trust You


Trust is vital in any relationship, it's not an option not to have trust if you want successful relationships. So you need to start here. You need to learn to trust  YOU, your decision making, your ability to make everything you need to happen, happen. This means in times of crisis, or trouble that you will trust in yourself. Much like in a relationship full trust doesn't develop overnight, it takes time, you know trust is key in a relationship, trusting yourself is also key.


Trust Your Inner Voice


Call it intuition, call it your inner voice, call it what you may, you need to trust what your body/mind tells you. It can be hard to trust what one may call simply a feeling, yet you need to ask questions when you have a 'bad feeling' or even a 'good feeling'.  If you want to know where to start when it comes to trusting in yourself, start here, listen to those 'feelings'.


You Are Important




Take Time For Yourself

It can be easy to put yourself at the bottom of the list, especially if you have a family, but it can also be the same with friends or significant others. Its like on an airplane when they tell you to put an oxygen mask on yourself before you help anyone else, you can't help other people if you're no longer alive to do so. You need to make time for yourself, it's part of taking good care of you, whether it's an hour or 15 minutes.  You can't be you or take care of others, if you have nothing left to give. Make you time.


Respect You

Having respect for yourself and your body is key in loving yourself. You need to take care of your health, mental or otherwise. You need to know when its time for a break, you need to respect your limits. Nourish your body, expand your mind, exercise, cherish the body that you have.


Stop Self Hate

We as humans are often far harsher on ourselves than we would be on others, yet, we let it be ok. It's not ok, its detrimental to our happiness, we need to lighten up. Your thoughts are powerful, the words you choose to tell yourself are powerful, they do effect how you feel about yourself and everything around you.  We easily hurl insults at ourselves, whether it's about our bodies, intellect, life choices, perhaps all of the above plus some. This needs to stop! You wouldn't allow another person to say some of those things to you, and if you would, it's time to change that, set the standard for others.



When it comes to loving yourself, it's not something to take lightly, it can dictate your overall happiness, it can affect your current and future relationships.  If you want to know how you should treat/love yourself, look at how you treat those that you hold most dearly.  Love yourself first, take care of you, it's your job. You will find that the more love you have for yourself, the happier you are. Sometimes this involves doing things solely because you love yourself more, than to put yourself in certain situations or stay in unhealthy ones. Make choices for you. Let the love you have for yourself guide your life. The more love you have, the more you have to give.



Your Goal: Build up the love you have for yourself and share it.

Monday, November 24, 2014

B Beautiful: Too Busy For Love?







Too busy for love? 

We recently got a question about love, health, career and happiness...This question was along the lines of how to handle them all, creating a balance. Well the news, the golden answer to that question is...it's all in how you look at it, if you think of this as an impossible juggling act, it's going to live up to that standard, surpassing your expectations wildly beyond what you first imagined.  


                                                          
Love 


Hmmm perhaps one of the most highly debated ones when it comes to a busy lifestyle, depending on the type of people you speak to, each one probably has a different opinion. 

Finding love *Correction* Being open to find love when you have a busy life, is first and foremost a choice. Love has a mind of its own, it will find you when it's meant to regardless, but you do have a small say to jumping on that boat and committing to someone.  

Yes, the combination of love and a busy life can be difficult at times, but you also need to make the choice of whether you are prepared to take that journey on. It's not something that is impossible to master, it just takes effort, requiring you to be something in your mind that you've made important  

Also know that one is not the eliminating sacrifice to the other one if YOU don't want it to be, there will be times where you make the choice of time meaning a couple hours here or there.  
 
What If I'm Asked To Choose One Or The Other?


 if you're with someone who is making you choose . That person isn't who you should be with 

1. Because they shouldn't put you in the position of choosing

2. Ultimatums only lead to future resentment  

The Understanding 


Whether it's you or your significant other, it's important to understand while there may be relationships that are extremely important...there is also other parts of life that need a certain amount of focus at times. This isn't always the ideal situation, remember what I said before, "if a relationship is set as a priority, the time to put in the effort WILL be found." 


Career 


The largest balance within career is that you love what you do, or at least enjoy it. That you are following your dreams and passion in some form. My point is, the more you enjoy what you do the less work that it feels like, which means the juggling act feels  easier! 



Health 


Health is a lifestyle, not just healthy eating or fitness it's a combination of everything, including happiness (SEE BELOW), positivity, healthy eating, sleep and fitness.  



Happiness 


Happiness is truly based on you, what you find that brings you joy from within. Whether it's the little things or larger things in life...hopefully both!  Nobody else can make you happy, happiness is always an inside job, that's a path only you can travel.                    

The weight of the world can feel like a lot at times, it can feel extremely overwhelming when you're trying to live a well balanced life. In life you won't ever be faced with situation that you won't be able to overcome, you already have strength within yourself that you can build from and build on to. You can have love, career, health and happiness, but you just need to be prepared for the effort that it will sometimes take to receive and achieve it.


Finding the balance can take some adjustments as I mentioned above, you can truly do anything that you wish to. Sometimes it takes finding that special someone that is worth figuring out the right balance between it all, sometimes it takes losing someone you care about to put things into perspective for you.  

 Life is always a learning/balancing act, it's worth figuring out though. Part of learning who you are is about finding ways to balance your life for you as an individual firstly, long before you ever get into a relationship. If a relationship interests you, start finding the balance making room for a perspective love in your life, which may just be what it takes to attract that new person to you.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

B Men: Your Guide To Meeting HER Family This Holiday Season







Your Guide To Meeting 'HER' Family This Holiday Season

Or At Least How To Really Impress Them ;)

It's the holiday season, that leaves us with endless amounts of parties, dinners with family as well as close friends. This also means that a lot of gentlemen (and ladies)out there will be a plus one at many of these gatherings...possibly even for the first time.


This is a little guide that will give you the tips to be the best, and quite possibly the star of these events, all thanks to BBB




Do Your Research

So this one is fairly simple, you probably already have a good amount of knowledge about her family, but this is a VERY crucial step. Don't get us wrong, this isn't something you should obsess over or cause to run out and buy or fill out note cards, that you study the night before.

 Have knowledge of names, relation, current events, whether they are tragic ones or happy ones,  also rules/values the family is strict on, that doesn't mean any of this needs to be what you follow, but first and foremost this is a thing of respect. 

Don't forget...

There is nothing like dead awkward silence at a dinner table or when everyone is gathered in the living room because the new guy brought up "that topic" pay attention when she speaks of any family drama, and don't be afraid to ask her about conversations/topics to avoid, if you feel the need.


Got your research done?? Good, there are just a few more steps...    
  




 Bring A Gift But Don't Over Do It 

Okay, this one doesn't always need to be at the top of your list, it isn't the most important, but holiday parties and events related to that for the first few times it's a nice gesture that says "Thank you for welcoming me to your home". Think a nice bottle of wine/liquor, box of chocolates, flowers, even a gift basket would work. You don't need to break the bank for an impressive gift, because it's not about the gift, it's just the thought counts here.





Dress Code

Is there one? Don't be afraid to ask, then you won't be showing up looking all out of place in your tux, when everyone else is casual and vice versa. If you are a great dresser anyway, then follow your own sense of style, because that is where you will feel the most comfortable and at ease. If you have to purchase a suit, please do it sooner rather than later, spend the extra cash to get it tailored to you, there is nothing worse than a man in an ill fitting suit.





Find Your Comfort As Soon As Possible 


We don't mean the kick off your shoes and wear your old sweatpants comfort, more along the lines of being able to express yourself, letting your personality shine, letting whoever that is surrounding you get to the version of you that 'she' is so crazy about. The person you are, can impress just fine on its own, plus everyone will be able to sense the disingenuous  factors easily. 
 

Common Interests

Again ask her in advance re: the careers of her parents, siblings, family and friends that will be attending.  We  also big on finding out favorite sports teams, simply because there is a lot that you can bond over.

Ask Questions

When we meet new people, you never get a second chance to make a great impression. An easy way to make a great impression, even with the hardest of sells, is to ask a person about themselves, career, passions, favorite teams etc. People do generally like to talk about themselves.  To making a great impression it is more about how the other person feels in your presence. Find common ground like a conversation that you can contribute to and even excel at, without being stressed about what is coming out of your mouth. Once you get over that first jump..it should be smooth sailing!


Topics To Avoid

Topics to avoid at all costs; politics and religion, because people tend to be very passionate about both, there isn't usually a gray area. The last thing you want is an argument over your first festive dinner or party. 

Observe

The way that everyone interacts together. If you cuss like a sailor, you should probably hold back if that isn't the general consensus in how everyone else is communicating.





Offer To Help With Clean Up 

Any good guest offers to help with clean up , it's common courtesy 101! Honestly, you'll probably get a "No". Once again, it's the 'thought' that counts. 





There are 2 main things that her family/friends will be on the lookout for;


1.  HOW you treat her.

2. That you're being yourself.


 It doesn't matter if you're just meeting them for the first time or getting to know them better, those are the 2 most essentials things that you need to be aware of, when stepping into this world. We hope that you found our tips helpful in navigating the dreaded first meet of family over the upcoming holiday season. Did we miss anything? Feel free to contribute, we love passing great information onto our readers.        

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

B Love: Why EVERY Woman Should Play Fantasy Football



We often hear about complaints from men and women, regarding men's sports habits, "he's always watching   ....................(insert said sport here) he sits in his chair and watches football all Sunday, you can't talk to him, unless on commercials" Today I'm going to talk specifically about football and Fantasy Football, this isn't the only Fantasy League that men play in, but the one that I played. I'm Canadian, so of course it was the CFL Fantasy Football League.

Men complain that "their woman is always angry because he watches sports, or takes off with his boys to watch sports, she doesn't understand the whole team thing, and are forever trying to engage him in a conversation while he is watching sports!"

First let me say "I get this, when someone is trying to have a deep conversation with you, or trying to talk over the tv, whilst I'm watching football!" Ha! It's really no different when someone is trying to have a conversation with you while you are watching whatever shows that you like to watch, or they don't talk on commercials. I do enjoy hockey and a little basketball occasionally, but noticed the bigger difference when I started playing Fantasy Football (FF). Why the change? Because I have a dog in the fight, now more than other seasons.

To the part that I think every woman should play FF, the league is free,  it's as easy as, picking a username, and signing up with an email. When you are in a relationship, it can be frustrating if you feel that sports takes up the quality time, that you would like to be sending with your man. Don't ever think that us women don't have a very competitive instinct, by choosing a team and getting involved you suddenly care whether you win or lose. Picking a team can be as easy as, checking out the guys in their uniforms, best pants in all of sports. (is that sexiest?!?! haha) ;) The team that you like the color of their uniforms, you have other friends/dad/brothers that like a particular team,  or you've heard of the teams star player. Choosing an opposing team from your significant other, always makes for some fun trash talking, bets etc.


Once you've got your team, watch a game, it's okay to ask questions if you don't understand the whole concept of the game, and the best way to learn. Most men don't mind explaining the aspects of the game that they are watching, by taking an invested interest it means that it's something that you can share and do together, helping you to feel that you are getting that quality time that women love. Of course the internet is filled with all the information that you could ever want on the game.


Now onto the Fantasy Football play, you need to choose your Quarterback, Receivers, Running Back, a Flex player, kicker and pick a team that has a great defence. By choosing the players and positions it will get you familiar with the different positions in football. It will force you to start paying attention to the statistics, who's in and who's out for the week. Suddenly you have a dog in the fight, the points become very important, and it never ceases to amaze me how much men love a woman that understands sports, and can talk football with them.


In FF you will learn, that if you choose your fantasy team with your heart/emotion there will be weeks that you don't get as many points. You will learn to play from your head, even though it may hurt to have to trade in your favorite quarterback occasionally. You will learn how the other teams play, is it going to be more of a run game or a passing game? Learning how to read a "depth chart" has saved me on more than one occasion, not only is it a competition between you and your significant other, but every other person that plays, and wouldn't you be the coolest gf/wife to win the end prize, taking your man to Grey Cup or Super Bowl for you NFL'ers!


Sports teams usually have a star or 2 star players, but the whole team has to work together as a collective unit, if they hope to make playoffs and a chance at the cup. A relationship has to be a team effort, it isn't 50/50, it's 100/100.


Commitment, lots of women think that men have a problem with commitment...pffft I don't buy it! They seem to have no problems committing to their favorite sports team, so why would a woman be any different? It's not, men stick with their team through thick and thin, the wins and the losses!


You don't have a good team without a great defensive line, who's going to stave the other team off? Who's going to make the touchdown, protect your quarterback, if your offensive line isn't working? There is a playbook, but occasionally a play works out differently than the best laid plans, and you have to go with it. Sometimes it's your defence that is out there scoring the touchdowns.


Penalties..You have to be able to forget quickly on the plays that you make a mistake, otherwise it could hamper the way your team plays for the remainder of the game. Just like relationships, if you constantly magnify someone's mistakes, you're going to be forever angry and resentful.


Take advantage of momentum, at times it's going to be up to you to be the person that creates the momentum, to get your team back in the game.


Sometimes you have to take one for the team, we all have to make sacrifices to have a successful relationship. Just like in football, sometimes you have to be the one that takes the hit or makes the tackle, even if you're a quarterback or a punter, tackle when you have to, and then move on.  


By playing FF, you will learn the in's and out's of the game much faster, because passing yards, rushing yards,  field goals and touchdowns suddenly take on new meaning when you are racking up the points on your FF.


Being in relationships takes work, it takes you being selfless at times, putting someone else's wants and needs before your own, don't get me wrong it has to be a 2 way street, but if you show some initiative to learn his favorite sport, and play the fantasy version, he will love you forever. Does that mean that he will suddenly love shopping probably not, but if you make an attempt to integrate what he loves, he will do the same for you. Seriously you can make it a 'thing' work together to make snacks the day before so no one has to miss a minute of the game. You just may surprise yourself, if you've never been a sports fan previously, you may learn to love the game as much as he does.

P.s. Men tend to find women wearing football jersey's to be very sexy! ;)        


Tuesday, November 18, 2014

B Fit: Times In Life When You Need To Stand Your Ground


There are times in life when you will need to take a stance and stick to it, times when you need to dig your feet in, standing strong. Standing your ground isn't always easy, in fact sometimes it can be one of the hardest things you ever do, yet there will be times in life when it's necessary.  Here are just a couple times in your life, when you will need to take a stand and stick to it.




When It Comes To a Job & The Money You Deserve For The Work You Put In

Often people accept what they make at a job as "just how it is", this isn't true by any means. However there is a stipulation, you must be good at what you do and you need to prove that. You need to decide what you're worth. I don't care where you work, if you are good at what you do, if you become a necessity, you need to ask for the money you deserve. Knowing what you deserve, means that you have the intention of walking from any job that doesn't compensate.



When You Know You Did Nothing Wrong

If someone is accusing you of something you know you didn't do, whether this is in a relationship or in any situation. You need to stand your ground.




When Someone Asks You To Comprise Your Own Worth or Beliefs

You should never compromise your own beliefs for another person. It is so important that a person has their own beliefs and knows their worth on their own. When you know who you are, you know your own worth, you will have better ground in your relationships and your life. When it comes to things you hold dearly, your worth, your beliefs, you need to draw a line in the sand. You should be open to education and new opinions always, but the only time you should change your view on something is when YOU have decided, not anyone else.  




When You Say NO

When you say no, it's for a reason, you don't need to explain a "no" if you don't want to. No means no, that's just it. If you ever say no, whether that's saying no to a date or saying no to a birthday party you didn't really want to go to. You can always say no. ALWAYS! A solid no is better than a half hearted yes.




When Someone Does Something You Consider a Deal Breaker

Do you know your deal breakers? You should know what can make or break a relationship for you or friendship for that matter. When someone crosses your line, you need to take a stand.




When You Decide You're Done With Someone

When you leave someone in the past, you do so for a reason, that reason should still stand. In rare cases a person changes and you may allow them back into your life, but this doesn't happen overnight and probably isn't the person repeatedly calling you saying "I've changed".  Learn to trust that each decision you make, you make for a reason and you aren't wrong. When you are done with a person or situation, stand your ground, you have your reasons.



When You Make a Calculated, Well-versed Decision

Part of growing is eventually being able to trust the decisions you make. When you make a well thought out, educated decision on anything, you need to stand your ground and stand behind your choices. 





There will be many times in your life when you will have to make decisions, holding to them or you will have to dig in your heels, that is necessary in life sometimes. Taking a stand takes courage, standing strong in that decision also requires courage. It may be hard, sometimes it may even hurt, but remember what is best for you. Standing your ground may alter situations around you, but if you are standing your ground it is for a reason, your reason, a reason more important than what you may lose in the process.  All of this comes down to loving yourself enough to stand strong, this is about knowing what you deserve, making a point to accept nothing less.